Heroines I'd Like to Throat Punch

April 26, 2019

Sometimes I'll really love a story and hate the heroine. She drives me nuts in incomparable ways. She aggravates me and makes me want to reach in and shake the crap out of her. She annoys me and makes continuing to read an almost impossible task. The following are some of the women who cause my violent thoughts...

⭐ Damsel in Distress

I'm not talking about a woman in trouble. I love stories where she's in danger and the big, bad, strong alpha is there for the rescue. No, I'm talking about the girl who puts herself in dangerous situations, even after being warned, and then finds herself in trouble, looking for a way out. Looking for a hero. I get that's the point, but her whining, sniveling and weakness makes me want to pull my hair out... or throat punch her!

⭐ The Unicorn

This is the woman that NO man can resist. She is the epitome of womanhood. Every man wants her, to take care of her, to touch her, to simply be in her presence. Her essence glows brightly, drawing men like moths to a flame. She can do no wrong and NO ONE calls her out on anything. And a throat punch for you!

⭐ Wanting to be independent, but having no idea how to be independent

She's struggling, working a dead end job (like a waitress), and meets the man of her dreams. He just happens to be a billionaire with a heart and wants to make life easier for her. But no, she can't accept any help. She's about to be evicted and she's lucky if she can afford ramen noodles, but how dare he buy her groceries? How dare he pay her mother's medical bills? How dare he figure out her life for her when she wasn't able to figure shit out in all her life? Wanna taste this throat punch I have for you?

⭐ "I deserve everything" - Entitled women

She's the opposite of the woman from above. She's used to getting her way and turns into a petulant child when things don't go according to her plan. She treats the hero like crap, expecting him to jump through hoops to impress her. She also gets cross with him when he steps out of her imaginary bounds. She has a super high standard and holds the hero to that, although no other man has even come close. She isn't grateful or gracious or humble or likeable. Another throat punch over here!

⭐ Game-player

This is the woman who knows what she has but wants the guy to continue to prove how much he cares. She tests his boundaries and challenges his affections. If she were real, he'd have already moved on (I hope). She's also the one who runs away. I can't stand that. She escapes and hopes he chases her, grovelling for things he DIDN'T do and coming up with grand gestures to win her favor when she should be throwing herself at his feet. A throat punch would be too kind!

⭐ Overdramatic

You already know about these heroines. They're the ones who make mountains out of molehills. The guy will do something spectacular, like pay her rent or bills or buy her fancy clothes or jewelry, and she freaks on him like he committed the most unforgiveable sin. She's extra, a bit too out of control, irrational and illogical. She takes most things out of proportion and is also known as an OTT character. One throat punch coming up!

⭐ Quirky and awkward

Now this heroine was usually my go-to. I'm a nerd/geek and love seeing myself represented in unique ways in books. However, not every author can create an authentic and attractive quirky/awkward character. I'm a klutz, but let's not get ridiculous with it. Not every awkward person spills things on themselves the very first time we meet that special someone. Or falls flat in front of them. Or generally make fools of ourselves on a regular basis. And the crap the comes out of our mouths don't always have to make situations socially awkward. I'm just saying... quirky and awkward people are normal people too. So this is more of a throat punch to the authors who give crappy representations of these awesome features.

⭐ Strong and aggressive

I love my heroines fierce and loyal. And when I say fierce, think Jean Grey from X-Men - intelligent, beautiful, courageous, altruistic, genuine... and then can fry your ass if you rub them the wrong way. However, I've come across some heroines that are supposed to be strong, but they come off as aggressive. They're abrasive and rude and downright disrespectful, even to the hero. They think it's okay and are surprised when someone reacts negatively to them. I wouldn't even act negatively... if you want to boost your chest with me, acting all aggressive and ish, I'm gonna throat punch you!


A ton of my reviews tackle how much I couldn't stand the heroine. I'm not sure why I suffer such a disconnect to these characters, especially when written by other women. I get that I'm picky, but if I can't stand certain people in real life, I'm not going to look at them favorably in fiction. My brain just doesn't work that way. And don't think I only have a hate on for some women... I have plenty to say about certain heroes and I WILL be tackling these in a future post (so stay tuned).

So what types of heroines would you like to throat punch?

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