7.22.2018

Review: FIRE DOWN BELOW by Debra Anastasia

Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.

Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.

How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start.

Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.

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My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I tried really hard to like this book, but within 5 pages, I realized I couldn't force it. It was funny. If you like dirty jokes and humor, you'll find plenty of that here and I loved that part. I even loved the side characters. I didn't like Dove. It was really hard to get into this chick. I wasn't on board with the romance between her and Johnson. Maybe it will be fleshed out and seem more real in the following book, but I didn't love this story enough to discover if that's true. So two stars for the many laughs, especially from Duke, who somehow got the other POV although he wasn't the main love interest.

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